Misunderstanding
by Just 2 Dream of You
Summary: Two-shot: Hiei leaves Botan and she thinks it's because he wants to, and he thinks it's because she wants him to. Songfic to Evanescence HxB
1. Blame It On Me

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH

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Misunderstanding Part One: Blame It On Me

X -x-x-x-x- X

Botan was walking home when her thoughts began to drift to a certain someone. She couldn't believe it had been six months since then. Their relationship wasn't what you would call normal or loving, but Botan had learned to accept it.

One night while she was asleep, she got the shock of her life. There he was, at her window, staring at her. She yelped and fell out of the bed. "Hiei?"

"Open the window." His voice was strained, like he was in pain. Naturally, thinking this was the case, she let him in.

"Hiei, what's wrong?" He stood there for a few seconds not moving. When he finally looked at her, Botan couldn't help but shiver.

His eyes were bright red and his fangs were showing.

"Do you know what time it is?" He asked in a sharp tone.

Botan looked at her clock. "Um, eleven pm?" He chuckled. Botan didn't like that. His chuckle sounded almost...evil again.

"No..." He began walking towards her. Botan gulped. She remembered what time it was. "...It's mating season."

"I don't understand." She said shakily.

"Oh, I think you do."

"What about Mukuro?" Her back hit the wall.

"She rejected me." She could hear the sadness in his voice.

"Oh. But why me? Can't you find somebody else?"

"Yeah. I'll just go out a rape a random female." Botan gasped as he got closer. "My instincts can't be controlled. If I approached anybody else they would refuse, and I would have to force myself on them."

"You think _I'll_ sleep with you?" He was a few inches away from her now.

"If you don't, I'll either force myself on you, or somebody else."

"You wouldn't. you would never do something so dishonorable. You _can_ control it, Hiei." Just then he pinned her to the wall.

"You think so?" His voice had that sadness again, but it was a different tone, like his full form. That's when Botan noticed in the split second he pinned her, he had also transformed. He was nipping at her neck while straining to pull away. Botan felt what was inside him. His instincts had taken over, but not completely. He was trying to stop himself. His right hand moved up her waist to her left breast. She gasped and he pulled back slightly and made a growl that was pained. Botan brought her hands up to his hair and gently stroked his head.

"It's all right, Hiei. I'm yours." After that she felt a sharp pain in her shoulder. Her eyes went murky and the rest of the night was a total blur.

When she woke up the next mooring she sat up off the floor and noticed teeth marks on her shoulder. She screamed and fell backward onto Hiei, who was also sleeping on the floor.

"Woman!" He shouted.

"Oh! I'm sorry! OH, MY GOD!" She shrieked. "I'M NAKED!" She ran to the bed and grabbed a blanket off it and wrapped around her. Then she looked down.

On the floor was a cloak, black fighting pants, a nightgown, a white pair of panties, and a butt naked Hiei.

"AHHHH! _YOU'RE _NAKED!" She covered her face with her hands as she cried. Then she heard something she never thought she would here in all eternity; Laughing.

Hiei Jaganshi was...laughing.

She peeked out of her fingers, narrowly hiding his privates, and saw him laughing heartily. It wasn't an evil laugh or the kind he gets when he kills someone, but a real true laugh.

"Woman, you saw me naked all night long. How is this different?" He asked, his laughter dying down

"I don't remember last night.." She said shyly. His face changed from an amused smile to something Botan couldn't quite pinpoint.

"I see." He stood up and Botan meeped as she covered her face again. "You can look now, woman." In a split second he had put his pants back on.

Botan sighed and sat back down on the bed. "So...we..?" She asked nervously.

"No, we played chess nude."

She huffed and crossed her arms. "Well, _sorry_! I was just making sure. Good thing I'm on the pill..." Hiei rolled his eyes and put on his cloak.

"Um, Hiei?" A pause. "Is this mark what I think it is?"

"Yes."

"You mean...?"

"Yes. We're mates."

* * *

"So, what? I _belong _to you now?" She asked from the bathroom. When she came out she found Hiei sitting on her window sill. He glanced at her and turned back. "_Hello_?"

He sighed. "Yes."

"Well, that's just peachy! So, what does that mean? I can't marry anybody now? I'm stuck with _you_?"

"You can kill yourself if you want. That _is_ the only way to break it." He said in his usual cocky tone.

"Ugh! You jerk! That's all you have to say?"

He jumped off the window and tore off his cloak. "If it makes you feel any better I'm stuck with _you_ too."

Botan blinked and walked over to him. There on his shoulder was teeth marks. "_I_ did that?"

"No, I'm mated with the tooth fairy."

"But that means..."

"Yes I know. We're connected forever."

Six months. It had been only six months. Botan sometimes was a little unsure of this relationship. Because they were are mated Hiei now had ways to...express himself in a way he couldn't before. Almost every other night he would come through her window. She would purposely leave it unlocked just for him. She would give herself to him and most of the time she didn't mind. In fact in the beginning she loved it. She hadn't had a man in so long she would find herself craving Hiei's visits. But after a while, she realized that the only reason he came was to have sex and nothing more. He was always gone in the morning and never came to visit for any other reason.

She sighed and unlocked the front door. She walked into the living room and sat her keys on the table next to the door. She took off her coat and sighed again.

Here she was, alone in her small apartment like always. No one to greet her. No one to talk to. No one that cares.

She was in the kitchen cooking spaghetti when she heard her bedroom window open. She looked at the clock. 8:00pm. '_He's early,_' she thought. She sighed and went back to her cooking. After a few minutes he walked into the kitchen.

"I haven't eaten yet so you'll have to wait." She said with her back turned away from him. It was the first thing either one of them had said in a week.

He said nothing and began to walk back out. "Do you want some?" She asked. He stopped. '_Why_ _did you ask that? You know he doesn't,_' she cursed herself.

"Alright." She turned around and looked at him. His tone was slightly gentle. One might say polite.

"Alright." She repeated. "Go and sit and I'll bring it out to you." Since she didn't have a table he walked over to the couch and sat down.

After about three minutes she came out with two plates.

"Um, here." She said shyly. Why was she so shy? They had sex more times than she could count. He had touched her and done things to her in ways that she thought she would never let anyone do - so, why was she so shy? Maybe because in reality they had no relationship. It was just sex.

He sniffed the spaghetti and she giggled. "Don't worry, it's really good." He looked up at her and quickly looked back at the plate.

She handed him some chopsticks and they both began to eat their food.

About halfway through she spoke. "Hiei, what are we?"

He stopped and shifted in his seat. "We're mates."

"And what is that?" He looked at her and raised an eyebrow. She put down her plate on the coffee table and he did the same.

"Hiei, we're mates, but what does that mean? That we're just supposed to have sex a couple times a week?"

He stood up off the couch and moved toward the window. His arms were crossed and she couldn't see his face. She sighed. "If I don't get more from this relationship then I think we should end it."

"We can't." His voice was calm. "Only death will break it."

"I know. But just because that it's there, doesn't mean that we just have meaningless sex forever. There are other ways to end it."

"Like what?"

She stood up and walked behind him. "Like you never coming over again."

There was a few moments of silence before he spoke. "So you never want to see me again?" His voice was emotionless. Did he care at all?

"Is that what you want?" She asked and walked closer to him. He just stood there looking out the window instead of her.

"What would you do if I said yes?"

He turned and looked at her and she smiled sadly. "You really don't want to be here, do you? You're here because you feel obligated. Because you marked me, you feel obligated to stay with me." No response. "Well, Hiei, I have good news for you; I don't need your obligation and I don't need _you_."

His eyes looked down. "I see." He uncrossed his arms and started walking for the door.

"That's all you have to say?" Her voice cracked.

"You said it yourself. I'm only here because I feel obligated. I see nothing else _to_ say." His voice was calm and emotionless. She was right.

"Okay, then." She piked up one of the plates and threw it at him. He gasped and jumped back. "THEN GET OUT OF HERE!" She threw the other plate at him and he was gone. He really didn't care. The spaghetti slipped down the walls as she collapsed on the floor sobbing.

Here she was again. All alone. And it was all her fault. If she hadn't said anything he would still be here. They would be making love right about now.

Feeling him inside her with his breath on her neck. She sobbed harder.

_**Out on your own  
cold and alone again  
can this be what you really wanted, baby?  
Blame it on me  
set your guilt free  
nothing can hold you back now, love**_

It had been about a week since he left. She still left her window unlocked thinking he would come back. But she knew he wouldn't. This is what he wanted. He wanted to leave. She was just a chore. An excuse for his needs. She was a fool to think he loved her or even cared about her. But even though it hurt to know that, she still understood. She understood why he didn't love her. In a way, this whole thing kinda made sense to her. It was like she always knew why it had happened.

_**Now that you're gone  
I feel like myself again  
grieving the things I can't repair and willing  
To let you blame it on me  
and set your guilt free  
I don't want to hold you back now, love**_

There were still some nights that she would lay awake and miss him. She knew on those nights that it was for the best, but she couldn't help it. Sometimes a twig tapping on her window would make her think it was him, but every time she jumped up she chided herself. He wasn't coming back. But she still missed how he felt, how he would touch her, how he would sometimes caress her like she was the only woman in the world. Sometimes she even thought that what he was showing her was not passion, but maybe...just maybe it _was_ love. What if he really did love her? What if he was just afraid to show it any other way? Even if that was true, both of them had very different lives. She knew Hiei would never change his ways even if he did love her. And that hurt more than him leaving.

_**I can't change who I am  
not this time, I won't lie to keep you near me  
and in this short life  
there's no time to waste on giving up  
my love wasn't enough**_

_**And you can blame it on me  
just set your guilt free, honey  
I don't want to hold you back now, love**_

No one had seen or heard from him. Everyone went about their normal lives happily, as if nothing was missing. But Botan knew. She knew that there was a piece missing that could never be replaced. And even though it had been years since she'd seen him, she still kept her window unlocked in the small hope that one day he would return again. The thought of that brought up the tears she often suppressed. Hiding them with laughs and smiles. No one even knew that they were lovers.

She closed her eyes and let the tears slide down her cheeks. Maybe it would be better in the morning.

~End


	2. Please Forgive Me

Disclamier: I don't own YYH

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Misunderstanding Part Two: Please Forgive Me

X -x-x-x-x- X

**_Please, please forgive me but I won't be home again  
Maybe someday you'll look out, and barely conscious you'll say to no one; _**

**"_Isn't something missing?"_**

Kurama, Shizuru, Kuwabara,Yukina,Yusuke, Keiko, Genkai, and Botan. They were all at the temple having some sort of get together. In the middle of it, Kurama announced hat he and Shizuru were getting engaged. Kuwabara gave Kurama a big bear hug and then whispered something in his ear that made Kurama sweat-drop. Yusuke made a joke about the honeymoon which gave Kurama and Shizuru red faces, and Yusuke a hand mark across his cheek. While this was going on, his eyes drifted over to the blue haired deity sitting on the floor. She was talking with Keiko and Yukina like she always did. She was smiling and laughing. It was like she didn't even notice he was gone. Like she didn't care at all.

_**You won't cry for my absence, I know  
You forgot me long ago  
Am I that unimportant? Am I so insignificant?  
Isn't something missing?  
Isn't someone missing me?**_

"How stupid do you think I am?" Mukuro was boring holes into his head. "Really, Hiei, how much must you insult me? You have shown no interest in me and now suddenly, during mating season, you come to me? You really are a bastard."

Yes, he had chosen a bad time to come to her, but he really did want her.

"I will _not_ take you as my mate. You will _never_ have me as yours."

He said nothing and turned around. "I see." He walked out of her chambers and slowly down the hall. His instincts were becoming harder to control, If he even sniffed a female, let alone saw one, he would get the urge to mate. This season for some reason was a lot stronger than he previous ones. Usually, he was able to control it, but this time he was breaking. If he didn't find a willing female soon, he could lose control and force himself on someone. The idea of that disgusted him.

That's when he smelled it; Another female. This one was in heat. He rounded the corner and saw her talking to another female. Dirty thoughts entered his mind. Maybe he should take them both, or force them to mate with each other. When he felt his pants become tight he knew he was in trouble. He had to get out of there. He figured Human World was a safe bet, because when mating season would come around there it was easier. When he got to the Human World his instincts had become impossible.

He was shaking and sweating. He _had_ to mate _**now**_. But who would let him? That's when he sensed the Grim Reaper woman's energy. He cringed at the thought of mating her, but he had no other choice.

At least she would listen to him.

Twenty minutes went by with him just watching her sleep. She was breathing so gently and slowly, and hardly moved in her sleep. A strange calm took him over as he watched her. His needs were slowly melting away. That is, until she turned on her back. Her blankets came just below her waist, and her nightgown was a white thin little thing. In the moonlight her nipples showed through the fabric. He growled and licked his lips. His pants became tighter and his energy rose. She stirred in her sleep, probably sensing his energy. She opened her eyes and for a moment they locked with his.

She yelped and fell out of the bed on the floor. "Hiei?" Her feminine voice made him hornier.

"Open the window." That is all that would come out of his mouth. She did and he entered the room. When her scent filled his nose, he had to muster all the control he had left not to attack her. He heard her ask a question. "Do you know what time it is? He said with a cruel tone.

"Um, eleven pm?" He chuckled inwardly. Stupid woman as always.

"No...It's mating season." His body had started walking toward her. He didn't remember what was said after that but he could sense her fear.

"What about Mukuro?" He heard her ask.

"She rejected me."

"Oh. But why me? Can't you find somebody else?"

"Yeah, I'll just go out and rape a random female. My instincts can't be controlled. If I approached anybody else they would refuse and I would have to force myself on them." More things were said but his need drowned them out.

"You _can _control it, Hiei."

"You think so?" He had transformed without knowing and pinned her to the wall. He nipped at her neck and his hand moved up her waist to her left breast. He heard her gasp and pulled away slightly. He _hated_ forcing her. That's when he felt her hands stroke his head.

"It's alright, Hiei. I'm yours."

Those words made him lose the little control he had left. He opened his mouth and bit into her shoulder. Her blood filled his mouth and he moaned. It was likes sweet nectar that ran down his throat.

In the middle of it he realized what he had done. Since he had marked her she was now his forever. For some reason he didn't care at the moment. That's when he felt her bite him. He smiled after she stopped and ran his mouth down to her nightgown. He pulled it down exposing her breasts and ran his tongue over her nipple. She moaned and moved her left hand below his waist. She undid his belt and slipped her hand in. He groaned finally feeling the pleasure his body had ached for.

What he did remember of that night was the passion they had both showed each other. It was like they both needed each other and had been waiting an eternity for it. They had gone for hours and ended up passing on on the floor. He woke up when she fell on him. She screamed and threw a fit about them being naked. The way she blushed and freaked out with her hands over her face made him laugh. Really laugh. It was the first time in a long time.

"Woman, you saw me naked all night long? How is this different?"

"I don't remember last night. She said shyly peeking out of her hands. She didn't remember.

All that passion she showed him was just his needs rubbing off on her.

"I see." He stood up and put on his pants with inhuman speed. After that they came to an understanding about their situation. They were mated forever. Connected forever.

And that connection would never be broken unless one of them died.

The first few weeks were a little tricky. The first few times they had sex were nervous and less passionate. However that changed through time. They quickly learned to throw their inhibitions out the door, or rather her inhibitions since Hiei had none, and experiment with each other.

He loved ravaging her body and making her writhe. Sometimes she would pleasure him, touching him in ways he never thought anybody would. He never thought anybody would _want_ to touch him like that. Everyone was always disgusted by him. But not her. She freely ran her hands all over him and let him run his hands on her.

When they weren't having sex he would watch her from afar with his Jagan. He stayed in Human World just to watch her. She would leave in the morning in her spirit form and fly off to Spirit World to ferry souls. He would wait for her to come back, not doing anything else but just sitting and waiting.

When she would finally come back he would watch her unlock the door and enter her apartment.

He found it interesting that she would land two blocks away and walk back to her apartment.

He learned to love watching her cook her meals and watch her favorite nightly cop drama.

Just watching her everyday made him realize how special she was to him.

It had been six months already and they hadn't even had a single conversation. All they did was have sex a couple times a week. Sometimes she would smile and enjoy him, and other times she would sigh and let him enjoy her. This bothered Hiei greatly. Was all they had just sex? Did she want more from him, or was she sick of him already? It had been a whole week and they had said nothing to each other. Not even a simple 'Hello.' He showed up as usual an she sighed. He his his frown at that. She didn't want him that night, but that was okay. He would make her happy. That night he was more gentle with her. She sighed and moaned happily more times than she had ever done with him before.

He was holding her in his arms watching her sleep. She was cuddled up to his chest breathing gently. He ran his fingers through her hair slowly and breathed her in deep. He knew what he had to do, the only problem how was he going to do it? All he had ever done with her in the past was show up and have sex. How would she react? If he simply confessed his feelings for her out of nowhere she might reject him. And of course, what if she didn't feel the same as him? He frowned and snuggled up close to her. He would deal with it in the morning.

He entered her bedroom early this night because sex was not on his mind. He sat on her bed and let her scent calm him. He also sniffed what she was cooking in the kitchen. After a few minutes he walked to where she was.

"I haven't eaten yet, so you'll have to wait." So she thought he wanted sex. Of course. What else would she think? "Do you want some?" She asked. He stopped. She was offering him dinner?

"Alright." He said that not in his usual cold tone but gentle and polite. He wanted it that way.

"Alright. Go sit and I'll bring it out to you." He sat on the couch thinking about how and when he would confess to her. He was lost in his thoughts when she brought out two full plates full of noodles with red stuff on them. He sniffed it and she giggled slightly.

"Don't worry, it's really good." He looked up at her and made eye contact with her for only a second before he quickly looked away. Damn this shyness around her!

She handed him some common human eating utensils and they began eating in silence.

"Hiei, what are we?" He stopped in mid slurp and shifted in his seat.

"We're mates." He heard his cold voice say. What else could he say?

"And what is that?" He raised an eyebrow at her. Didn't he already tell her that?

"Hiei, we're mates, but what does that mean? That we're just supposed to have sex a couple times a week?" He stood up and went to the window. His arms crossed and he frowned. That is _not_ what mates meant.

"If I don't get more from this relationship, then I think we should end it." So she did want more. He hid his smile with a cold response.

"We can't. Only death can break it."

"I know. But just because that it's there, it doesn't mean that we just have meaningless sex forever. There are other ways to end it." Little did she know what he was thinking.

"Like what?" He asked.

"Like you never coming over again." Hiei stiffened when she said that. Her tone was calm and there was no hint of sadness in it. It was almost like she was _asking_ him to leave.

"Does that mean you never want to see me again?" He kept his voice emotionless to hide his fear.

"Is that what you want?" Great. Another chance. But he still wasn't sure. Did she want him or not? So he asked the question he needed the answer to; "What would you do if I said yes?"

He was facing her now and she smiled. "You really don't want to be here do you? You're here because you feel obligated. Because you marked me you feel obligated to stay with me." So that's what she thought of him. "Well, Hiei, I have good news for you; I don't need your obligation and I don't need _you_."

She didn't want him. She didn't need him at all. "I see." He turned away from her and started for the door. She rejected him just like Mukuro. They both thought he didn't care because he had no idea how to show them. So, in the end, they both ended up hating him.

"Is that all you have to say?" He didn't hear the crack in her voice.

"You said it yourself. I'm only here because I feel obligated. I see nothing else _to_ say." His voice was cold as always and he made it that way.

"Okay, then." That's when a plate crashed into the wall in front of him. He gasped and jumped back. Her face was red with rage and she was holding the other plate.

"THEN GET OUT OF HERE!" She threw the other plate at him and he dissapeared out her window. She hated him. That's how it always was. No one loves the Forbidden Child. No one.

_**Even though I'm the sacrifice, you won't try for me no, no  
Though I'd die to know you love me I'm all alone  
Isn't someone missing me?**_

"You have unmitigated gall. You go off and mark someone else and disappear for five years, and _now_ you come back? What do you want?" She was boring holes in him again. He could tell she was trying to read him but this time he was blocking her out. He didn't want her to see his shame.

"I came to say goodbye." She slightly lightened her glare.

"What does that mean?" She never got her answer because he was gone.

_**Please, please forgive me but I won't be home again  
I know what you do to yourself, I breathe deep and cry out  
Isn't something missing?  
Isn't someone missing me?**_

He made it to the forest in the Human World that he would watch her from with his Jagan. He got to his favorite tree on his favorite branch. Without knowing he slid down the trunk onto the branch and put his head in his hands. Tears fell from his eyes and made little red gems in his lap. He picked them up and threw them in fury. What was the point anymore? Nobody wanted him. Nobody needed him. What he originally thought was true; There was nothing worth waiting for in life.

He uncovered his weeping Jagan and looked for her again. There she was, sleeping peacefully. Breathing slowly like she was the night he came to her. It seemed she had forgotten him.

_**Even though I'm the sacrifice, you won't try for me no, no  
Though I'd die to know you love me I'm all alone  
Isn't someone missing me?**_

_**And if I bleed I'll bleed, knowing you don't care  
And if I sleep just to dream of you**  
**I'll wake without you there  
Isn't something missing  
Isn't something...**_

His tears stopped as he unsheathed his sword. He did so as he watched her. He had always wanted to know how this would feel.

_**Even though I'm the sacrifice, you won't try for me no, no  
Though I'd die to know you love me I'm all alone**_

As his vision faded he continued to watch her sleep. Beacause they hadn't seen each other in years, their connection had weakened. She couldn't even sense what he was doing. She quietly slept as the mark on her shoulder faded away.

_**Isn't something missing?  
Isn't someone missing me?**_

~End


End file.
